Misplaced Aggression or Righteous Anger


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Oh boy! This is a great topic, for those of us, who have been in both situations, but have the difficulty of differentiating the two. It can not be half and half, it’s one or the other. The more we realize that each and every one of us are different, the easier it will be, to get individualized care. I believe this to be true! Speeches, programs, medications, seminars etc…most of us, leave them, with a different take, no one comes out, with the same exact thought process as the next person. So, then, why are we generalized more often than not? Fine…some people dislike medications, but some do “take the edge off” and they do work. But, as I learned last night, I mistook my older sons medications, for my own and I didn’t get a wink of sleep last night. Come to find out, my wife tells me, that I took the wrong pills, oops! It was an innocent mistake, but I’m thankful that I didn’t get a reaction, other than not sleeping. 

Still, though, blogging has subsided my urges of aggression, but than again, I am doing my ultimate gift to the world, by not interacting socially with others, as it never pans out. Though, to be perfectly honest, all my friends of years past, have all been extroverts. Really? Yes, really! That didn’t come to light, until now. All of my friends, have been of gregarious nature and none of them showed interests of similar activities, as I did. Hence, bye bye bye….

I have righteous anger towards my past, but often, used to misplace that aggression, with all those nearest to me because, they were there, in front, with no wall to block my incoming, antagonizing, verbal atrocities, that always sprang out. Did it make me feel powerful, Yes! Did it make others feel inferior? Of course, that was my intention. To hurt those around me because they couldn’t help me get over my anger. For years, it’s carried with me and burdened the closest of family, but no more. A great outlet I found? Yes! What is it? Right here, with you because I’m not alone in this. Their are so many of us, that have bent up anger, and always place it on the ones we love. It’s a damn shame to have done that. But lesson learned. The ones that we love, don’t deserve that. 

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About luis castillo

An introvert who enjoys reading, writing and journal entry and recently picked up iphoneography along the way. My "Walls of Solitude" is my sanctuary and where most, if not all of my writings scream through my fingertips.
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2 Responses to Misplaced Aggression or Righteous Anger

  1. mrphilgru says:

    Luis give yourself credit for this because you deserve it. What you say takes a lot of courage to realize and admit personally and publicly. Realizing the problem is going half-way to resolve the problem. Most blame it all on everyone but themselves. I know this too well and too deep to say it as just a reader. You keep up the good work. The labor of the soul is seldom visible, but it is the most gratifying and the most difficult one. And don’t make the mistake of relying on meds alone. As long as you have issues with yourself, your past and the situations you wish never happened, meds will only temporarily postpone the agony. While when you learn how to accept, be grateful, be better than yourself with every waking day, you eventually realize that the usual rage or pain triggers no longer have power over you. It doesn’t happen in a matter of a week. It is a lifetime commitment we make when we choose life over self-destruction.
    It helps a lot when you wake up and start enumerating things you feel grateful for. Not just listing them in your head, but feeling the gratitude with your heart.
    Thumbs up on this powerful self-awareness post!

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