Getting By Unscathed…


Keeping myself out of harm’s way, is essential for me. It is almost a goal that I try to achieve every single day. It works out best, when I need not be in public, but quickly dissipates, as I get further from home. That’s normal for me, as I feel my sense of security vanishing away. That is, till I get to my destination, which is usually a place indoors. I truly am messed up, but it works for me. When voices are raised, I get nervous. When tensions start to rise, I have to get the hell out of there. When obscenities flow from the mouth of others, I have to plug my ears.

I have noticed about myself even the slightest discomfort, comes from any type of stress, anxiety, physical harm and some other things. This was not always the case. I was an extrovert, in my younger days, but started become an introvert, in my late teens. I loved the action packed movies, the shoot-outs, the car chases, all the mayhem we are used to seeing now. Something happened along the way, that just “clicked”. From action-packed Jason Statham’s Transporter movies to Seinfeld watching sitcom. It is quite embarrassing, but to be honest with myself, is being honest, to who ever reads my blog. The movie “A Knight’s Tale” starring Heath Ledger, is a favorite for me because of the subtle bits of violence, but more of romanticism of it. I sound like a poor fool, but it’s what brings my feelings, on a daily basis. Yes! I believe with age, does bring wisdom, but it also can make a man go through a mid-life crisis or just deal with the fact that, the testosterone isn’t what it was, and I’m satisfied with that.

As I walk back and forth through my apartment, I, every now and then I let the cold, brisk, autumn air flow through this place, and breath it in, but going out there and enjoying the sunshine and walking around, isn’t in my latest schedule of things to accomplish for the day. I look at my tower of DVD’s and all I see is gun-toting movies of years past and think of how it was to feel those feelings of action. To get pumped up, from a good flick. However, no longer do I crave the action, nor do I miss it. I am completely satisfied with watching a good fiction movie. If the movie happens to have shooting here and there, that’s ok, but an all out battle of mayhem, I’ll pass…



About luis castillo

An introvert who enjoys reading, writing and journal entry and recently picked up iphoneography along the way. My "Walls of Solitude" is my sanctuary and where most, if not all of my writings scream through my fingertips.
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