The Deception

I was raised Catholic and recently brought my wife and children into the Church. It has become adamant, that I am thinking of where do I fit in organized religion. Some may argue that God is within and not in the church, and rightly so. But, for some time now, I felt compelled to become more in-depth and more productive within, but find myself struggling to compute what is happening. I’ve felt this way before, to a degree, but it’s taking a bit more convincing this time around. I just can’t fathom that everything that is happening in the world, is due to us living in the last days. I understand that hatred and anger is part of who we are.

I can’t help, but enjoy what is dark. Like the weather of today, completely rainy and cloudy, in the wilderness. It feels like home, a home that I was made to dwell upon. In my home, I have “The Last Supper” with a few statues of Our Lady, the Bible, a few crucifix’s, and the Divine Office. But, for some reason, it just doesn’t stick with me. I thought becoming a Deacon was my calling and being accepted into the Lay Carmelites was it. I suppose that’s all done with, at least for the time being.

I used to be the consumerist and materialistic guy, but no more. It is truly difficult to live a life of peace, with a life of sin. I don’t intend to sin and definitely don’t want to fall into the ways of aggression, but is it possible to follow God or Satan without getting into trouble? It’s a true question, that I would really want someone to answer.


About luis castillo

An introvert who enjoys reading, writing and journal entry and recently picked up iphoneography along the way. My "Walls of Solitude" is my sanctuary and where most, if not all of my writings scream through my fingertips.
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