I was raised Catholic and recently brought my wife and children into the Church. It has become adamant, that I am thinking of where do I fit in organized religion. Some may argue that God is within and not in the church, and rightly so. But, for some time now, I felt compelled to become more in-depth and more productive within, but find myself struggling to compute what is happening. I’ve felt this way before, to a degree, but it’s taking a bit more convincing this time around. I just can’t fathom that everything that is happening in the world, is due to us living in the last days. I understand that hatred and anger is part of who we are.
I can’t help, but enjoy what is dark. Like the weather of today, completely rainy and cloudy, in the wilderness. It feels like home, a home that I was made to dwell upon. In my home, I have “The Last Supper” with a few statues of Our Lady, the Bible, a few crucifix’s, and the Divine Office. But, for some reason, it just doesn’t stick with me. I thought becoming a Deacon was my calling and being accepted into the Lay Carmelites was it. I suppose that’s all done with, at least for the time being.
I used to be the consumerist and materialistic guy, but no more. It is truly difficult to live a life of peace, with a life of sin. I don’t intend to sin and definitely don’t want to fall into the ways of aggression, but is it possible to follow God or Satan without getting into trouble? It’s a true question, that I would really want someone to answer.